beautiful CHAOS …

This kind of describes my life right now … or I should say, it describes my brain right now. So many beautiful fabulous ideas and adventures swirling around in there, yet sometimes (ok, most of the time), it feels chaotic and frazzled. This is kind of how it sounds in my head … Yay!, cool idea, love this, let’s do it, I’m so excited, oh, and then there’s this other idea, so fun, I should SO do this, Woot Woot!, 75 (slight numeric exaggeration) other ideas float in, more excitement, Woo Hoo!, Yay!, let’s do all of this, I got this! … and then … fuck no, I ain’t got this. At all. I can’t possibly do all of this. I can’t even think about all of this, let alone physically do it. So, then I get stuck. Unable to do anything, because I’ve overwhelmed myself.

I have been pretty independent for most of my adult life, so asking for help with any of these ideas is new territory for me. I’ve realized over the last couple of years that I can’t do everything on my own anymore, and more importantly, I realized that I don’t WANT to. So, I suppose that all of this is new territory … I have a newfound understanding that I CAN do what I love and be abundant and happy, I do have a creative mind and soul and I need to use it regularly, I am in this world to help others heal, I am truly capable of doing anything and everything I desire … All of these realizations is why I have so many ideas and amazing things I want to do. I’m just having to learn how to say no sometimes, and to focus my attention on one task at a time, and know when to ask for help, and to trust my intuition. I use essential oils for some of these things, and I just learned of a time management technique called the Pomodoro technique (which I’m using right now as I type this) to aid in focusing. I’ve experimented with a number of different things over the past year and a half to find what works for me. Obviously, I’m still experimenting ;)

I’m not sure if I’ve shared this with you before, but I’ve struggled with time management and paying attention since I left my corporate job in 2015. Having a consistent 9-5 schedule every day is an easy lifestyle. Boring (at least for me), but easy. Now, I can do anything any time of day and have complete control over my life and career. And I’ll be honest, that’s a fucking hard transition, hence why I’m still experimenting.

It’s funny that as I’m re-reading this blog post, it sounds less cohesive than some of my other posts and a bit frazzled, if you will. Hmmmm, maybe I should go get those oils …

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