lines of LOVE …

Today’s creation: heart art (heART, bahaha).  So fun to make and pretty dang cool! Funny that when I was younger, I did NOT like hearts. Heart jewelry – eww. Hearts on stuff – bleh. Heart-shaped anything – ick. Now, I’m spending an hour drawing hearts with the word LOVE in them, and with a freakin’ heart pencil no less. Yeah, times have changed. I have changed. So, if you keep working on loving yourself, don’t be surprised if you start drawing hearts everywhere. All the time. Embrace that open heart, even in those scary vulnerable times (yeah, this is a reminder to myself as well). Love it. Love you. Love all. Love hearts and heart-shaped things ;)

XO <3

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extension of SELF …

The more creative things I do, the more I am realizing how these things I create are truly an extension of me. I mean, I get this, like from a logical mind standpoint. Now, I’m FEELING it. My art is my truth. I’m getting more and more comfortable with sharing my truth and LIVING my truth, and in turn, I am getting more comfortable with sharing my art and not needing anyone else’s praise to validate my creations/talent (although, I’m totally cool with this FYI). This is because I love meeeee so much more than ever and I trust in me and in my abilities. And I create because I love it, like really love it.

Sometimes, I get these cravings in my body to do something creative. It’s kind of like feeling horny, but I feel crafty. Anyone else get that? Anyone? …

So anywho, this self-acceptance did not come easily to me for most of my life. Therefore, I hid my talent from everyone and most importantly, myself. Interestingly, the shift in my own mindset came about from other people trusting in me more than I consciously trusted in me. When I lived at the Omega Institute, a woman looked at something I was making and told me that not just anyone can do that. Really? Cause, I honestly didn’t think there was anything special about me and my abilities. She definitely struck something in me …

Then, I started working at lululemon 2 months after Omega and I wrote out some of our chalk nameplates because, simply, “I liked handwriting.” Everyone I worked with saw my nice handwriting as so much more than that though. They asked me to hand-write all the nameplates whenever product was moved around or new product came in. I was happy to oblige. And then … THEN, they asked me to do more and bigger things with chalk. “Huh? Me? I can’t do that.” (I said that more often in my head than out loud.) So, I did them. Slowly, like reeeeeally sloooooowly, at first. They liked it. I did more. I got faster. Because I got more confident. And started to recognize my talent, rather than just accepting that other people liked what I did. Wow, I didn’t realize I had this inside me. Pretty fucking awesome.

Creativity and finding my truth have gone hand and hand for me these past couple of years. I create to find my truth and finding my truth helps me create – to create organically, with no agenda or need. Well, sometimes, I have an art job that needs to get done. However, it still feels more like something I want to do and am happy to do. That’s HUGE!

OK, so why the pics of my furniture, other than the fact that they are my creations? I was thinking one day about the process of furniture designing. I doodle. Those doodles turn into potential furniture pieces. I then expand on the ones that speak to me. And I break them down to figure out how to build them – the hardware, the materials, the joinery, the dimensions, etc. I change the design as needed to make it buildable and structural and usable. This is my life. I doodle. Exploring new things. New adventures. I then expand on those that speak to me. And I break them down to figure out if they are truly an extension of me – am I passionate about this? Does it serve me? What support do I need? Can I build on myself and grow as a person? What do I need to do this? I try things. I change them as needed. I trust in the person I’ve created. As I trust in the furniture I’ve created. Both strong. Both beautiful. Both built of energy and love. Hell yeah!

All of these strong, beautiful, energetic and loving creations are for sale by the way. The furniture, that is. Not me ;)

www.etsy.com/shop/firstlightcreative

 

 

MINDFUL hiking workshops …

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Figured I’d share this on my blog as well cause you never know what other Arizonans follow my blog or will find this post, riiiiight!?!? I’m looking forward to guiding desert dwellers through a healing meditation and small group hike. And looking forward to being a desert dweller myself … again ;)

My website has a brief explanation of each theme and a shop for you to sign up. If you have any individual questions, please reach out as I’d love to hear from you!

See you on the trails! XO

LOOK who has emerged …

Attachment-1

Have y’all been wondering where I went? Yeah, me too.

I love blogging … sharing my truth, inspiring others, writing about what I’m feeling or doing or seeing … it’s a beautiful thing. So, seriously, why the hell haven’t I been doing it? Good question. Well, honestly, I am still finding it hard to schedule my life without someone else telling me where I need to be and at what time, so I let some shit go. I am learning to be more patient with myself and accept that this is a learning process. And, at times, I also feel frozen / stuck, not knowing what to do or how to move forward. I want to continue down the path I started down 2 years – doing what I love, making my own schedule, and BLOGGING! Blogging is a creative outlet for me as well, and as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I have lessened my creative endeavors of all types (although, I will share some creative things soon!). I haven’t been lettering as much, or doodling, or writing, or or or. This seems like a great place to insert a reminder to be patient and accepting with myself. My creativity didn’t just dissolve … a few months not doing it and POOF! GONE! Not so much. I took a break. Not a big deal. Really.

I have also done loads of amazing other things, which I will share in the coming weeks. One being that I turned 40 and had the most amazing celebration. Just had to share that now, cause damn, it was AMAZING.

Catch y’all later. I swear I’ll be back soon …

are you POSITIVE ?

I was driving home from yoga this morning and I saw this sign in the distance that read “Dance Meditation” and I perked up a bit thinking that sounds interesting. Only the sign didn’t say that at all. I drove a little closer to it and saw that it actually read “Divorce Mediation.” I chuckled at the inconsistency of these 2 very opposing things. And then said to myself, well, shit, I have quite the positive mindset :)

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately – about my positivity, that is. I am in a place now where I can appreciate and accept all that comes into my life as being part of my journey, even and especially the challenges. Now, I admit, I am still human and sometimes I feel like my hormones think for me (ya know what I’m sayin’), so my positive mindset isn’t always in control. For the most part though, it reins and it feels fucking fabulous! This is such an amazing place to be and so different then where I once was.

Test it out … find something positive in a seemingly “negative” situation (I promise you, it’s in there). The key to changing is trusting in everything that comes your way. That it is all meant for you to grow and love and live a fulfilling happy life :)

And I am living and loving proof that it works. XO

 

my body SPEAKS …

Discomfort. Pain. Tension. Agitation. Nausea. I have learned to be intune to my body. To listen. And right now, with all of those feelings happening at once, it’s got something pretty important to say. Releasing old wounds can lead to discomfort. As can holding onto them. I’m not quite sure which it is for me right now. Or maybe a combination? What I do know is that it feels soooo incredibly uncomfortable. I’m trying to sit with it and learn from it, as much as I want to push it away and ignore it. Only thing is, my body has made it too intense to ignore. It knows me all too well at this point. And for that I am grateful. Grateful to myself for all of the work I’ve done to get to this deep place within myself. Grateful even for the pain. And I will be so so grateful for the light that’s on the other side of this pain, as I know that’s where I’m headed. I will keep working to be patient and listen and accept all that comes my way. However, I’m not opposed to this discomfort subsiding sooner than later ;)

big BLUE …

Blue. The color associated with the throat chakra. Blue. The color of my eyes. Interestingly, I had kept both of them partially closed up to all those around me – strangers, loved ones, myself – for most of my past life.

Throat chakra … communication, speaking your truth, expression. Today, I took a beautiful meditation class at M N D F L in Greenwich Village. In the middle of the meditation, I got an intense tickle in my throat and REALLY needed to cough. However, I did not feel inclined to break the stillness in the room with a cough attack. So, I held it back. And my eyes started to tear. And I was quickly reminded of being a child afraid to cough for fear of attracting attention to my “noise.” How sad, right? And coughing was no different than my words. I was afraid of being heard. Afraid of being me. And so I held it back, kept it all inside. No wonder holding in a cough results in tears. Coughing is a vocal release. It is part of my voice (not my “noise”). And I have definitely learned that holding in my words will also result in tears. It may have taken some years, but those guys flow easier these days. It’s my time to release. Time to be free of those old stories. Time to express who I am and fuck being afraid of it. I’m the only one afraid of me. Let’s be honest, everyone else thinks I’m pretty rad.

My eyes. Those big blue beauties – if I let them be, anyway. I’ve also held them back. Kept them tucked away under squinty half-opened eyelids. If people can’t see ALL of my eyes, then they can’t see me and what I’m REALLY about. Who’s that hurting? Yup, you guessed it – me again! I’ve actually noticed that my eyes are tired of being half-open … I don’t know what muscles are in my face that control my eyelids, but they’re tiiiiired of squinting for 30+ years. Now, I’m working on that face muscle memory ;) and awareness of the tightness that just doesn’t feel good anymore. The beautiful thing is that when I open my eyes wide, I can see the world. Like a whole bunch more of it. And I feel like I’m a bigger part of it. And I feel more open to welcoming in others.

Open your throat (or voice for a less gruesome visual). Let yourself be heard.
Open your eyes. Let yourself be seen.
And your heart will automatically open as well …

what is REAL anyway?


Life is seriously twisted.

The last post I shared with all of you included some very brief information about the horrific tragedy that severely shook up my friend’s life and the life of all their loved ones. I did not know the family, however, was connected by a beautiful soul, a very dear friend of mine … of ours. She called me on Wednesday evening and her voice didn’t even sound like her own. I knew that what her voice was about to speak was really bad. I never in a million years would have thought of this … that her best friend, Heather, and her 3 children died in a house fire in the middle of the night. My jaw dropped and the only word I could speak was FUCK. Followed by a long pause, and then “I have no words.” There are literally no words and I suppose no words were needed. This is something you feel. And even as an outsider, I definitely and truly felt it. I had never in my life felt that much pain for another human being. My chest tightened. My breath stopped. Eventually, the reality of this initiated a flow of tears. And so many other feelings that were beyond this conscious world.

The bizarre part of all this is that I was at Starbucks when she called me. I was in this everyday sort of place. People around me were laughing and playing with their kids and leisurely sipping their coffees while doing work or texting. And in an instant, this “scene” that I was in made no fucking sense to me. I felt like I had left my body and was floating above observing all of these things happening around me. And I couldn’t make sense of it. It didn’t feel real. Or right. How can there be such pain and suffering and such joy and peace at the same fucking time?!? And my life problems were reduced to nothing. I had no right to worry about my problems … what the fuck do they mean anyway?!

My physical body sat there on that Starbucks couch not knowing what to do or where to go. All I could think of to do at that moment was to take out my sticky notes and pens and write luv notes. Luv notes applicable to this exact moment in time – Live in the moment. Cherish every moment. Live each moment as if it’s your last. Be here now. Love yourself. – I made them while in this almost subconscious state of being. Everything seemed to slow down and looked very different to me.

Life seemed like a twisted confusing non-reality. Like this life we live every day isn’t real. It is what we all have created as our reality but this shit isn’t real. I can’t describe what “real” is though, cause I’m still livin’ in this life too…

In loving memory of Heather, Tabitha, Jason and Sean.
My love goes out to all those mourning the loss of this beautiful family.
There are no words, only a whole lot of LOVE.

just say THANK YOU … 

This is how to accept compliments. Just say “thank you.” It’s that simple, and we make it waaaay more complicated (by explaining where you got the shirt someone just told you they really liked, or how much the shirt cost, or turning it back on them saying you like their shirt too…). Just say “thank you.” I was taught this only recently by my life coach. At 37 years old, I finally knew how to accept a compliment. And also learned that when you simply say thank you and embrace the compliment, you will receive more compliments. Funny how that works. So many people don’t know how to accept their partners praise, yet question why they don’t get complimented more often (I’ve soooo been that person!). It goes both ways. Just say THANK YOU. And see what shifts, in you and in those around you.

What’s that? You think my blog is awesome. Thank you.

this shit just got REAL …

You are all like, yes Dawn, we GET IT ALREADY, you’re a Health Coach. YES, I AM!!!! And look at this pretty certificate that says so. Once I received it, my friend Sara made it very clear to me that I better frame this! Probably because she knows I might not display my accomplishment as I should. I will do it this time though. I promise, Sara. This is BIG. [FYI, I haven’t done it yet though.]

Do you wanna know what a Health Coach does and what I want to do with this amazing new role in my life?!?! Yes, of course you do. As a Health Coach, I work with my clients on improving their lifestyles to live happy fulfilling amazing lives! And I do this by helping them to improve their diet bringing in healthier feel-good options to crowd out the unhealthy ones. Even more importantly, we dive deeper into what is called “Primary Food,” referring to relationships, career, spirituality and physical activity. So, yes, eating more greens will surely improve your health, and looking at your life as a whole will REALLY improve your health. This is a holistic approach. We need to feed our mind, body and soul to feel whole and to feel truly happy. So, if you’re ready to live the greatest life ever, please reach out to me! I am here to fully support you and to listen to you and to guide you along the path you were meant to be on in this world.

I would like to focus my coaching on women seeking ways to manage stress in their careers (which of course translates to every other area of life), and/or looking to transition to the career of their dreams. This is part of my story and how I came to be right here, so I am very excited to work with like-minded strong beautiful women. FYI, that’s all of you, you just may have lost touch with it for a little while. I’m here to help you un-block it! So let’s do this!!!

love + [first] light

XO dawn
www.firstlightwellness.com
firstlightwellness@gmail.com

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