amazing women UNITE …

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Another amazing workshop with amazing women, check aaaand CHECK. Everything about it was magical and perfect. It started with a coyote siting on our drive into the park. Then, we found a jackrabbit hanging out in our meeting spot, keeping it warm and extra natury until we arrived. Then, at the tail end of our hike, we came over this little hill to a man playing guitar in the desert. And I haven’t even gotten to everything in between and after!!! So let me do that …

Jordan led us through a powerful body awareness walking meditation halfway through the hike. Afterward, we all paused for a moment and reflected on our physical and mental sensations. We all talked and caught up and got to know each other throughout the rest of the hike. Upon returning to our meeting place, we worked on a self love handout created by Jordan and I to dig a bit deeper into how we love ourselves. I was so grateful for everyone’s willingness to be open and to share bits of themselves, and to witness these bad ass ladies support each other. We all held space for one another. They created a safe space for me to guide them and not be scared doing so ;) And everyone created a safe judgement-free space to speak our truths, to be our authentic selves, to connect to something bigger than this physical world …

Jordan and I were so incredibly honored to guide these 4 beautiful, empowered and confident ladies. Wow. Just WOW.

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self love for SELF …

Last Sunday’s workshop on Self Love was all about Jordan and myself self loving ourselves (Austin Powers anyone). We guided each other through an amazingly powerful and heart-opening adventure. It was exactly as the Universe intended it to be, and I’m extremely (like really extremely) grateful. We meditated; breathed together; shared a piece of ourselves; hiked a fairly gentle mountain; learned from each other; brainstormed; explored our deepest selves with the support of one another … and then decided to change the workshop on “Change” (25 February 2018) to another “Self Love” workshop. I feel guided to make this change. And, well, change happens. All. The. Time.

So please join us as we connect through the power of loving ourselves and sending that love out to the world!

SELF LOVE | 25 February 2018 | Piestewa Peak Phoenix AZ | 9-11am | moderate difficulty | www.firstlightwellness.com

 

workshop02 | SELF-LOVE

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HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!!!! What better way to start the New Year than with some Self-Lovin’! Please join me for workshop #2 in 3 weeks…

I definitely had to remind myself, and be reminded, to take care of ME during the past month. Working in retail during the holidays is crazy; moving to AZ for 3 months requires a slight bit of preparation; making time to see everyone I love before I leave … all while feeling exhausted and under the weather.

Taking more time to care for ourselves will make all of our seemingly stressful lives soooo much easier and more enjoyable. So, how about you care for YOU and come meditate and hike with me on the 21st?!?!?! XO

SELF-LOVE sign up

lines of LOVE …

Today’s creation: heart art (heART, bahaha).  So fun to make and pretty dang cool! Funny that when I was younger, I did NOT like hearts. Heart jewelry – eww. Hearts on stuff – bleh. Heart-shaped anything – ick. Now, I’m spending an hour drawing hearts with the word LOVE in them, and with a freakin’ heart pencil no less. Yeah, times have changed. I have changed. So, if you keep working on loving yourself, don’t be surprised if you start drawing hearts everywhere. All the time. Embrace that open heart, even in those scary vulnerable times (yeah, this is a reminder to myself as well). Love it. Love you. Love all. Love hearts and heart-shaped things ;)

XO <3

extension of SELF …

The more creative things I do, the more I am realizing how these things I create are truly an extension of me. I mean, I get this, like from a logical mind standpoint. Now, I’m FEELING it. My art is my truth. I’m getting more and more comfortable with sharing my truth and LIVING my truth, and in turn, I am getting more comfortable with sharing my art and not needing anyone else’s praise to validate my creations/talent (although, I’m totally cool with this FYI). This is because I love meeeee so much more than ever and I trust in me and in my abilities. And I create because I love it, like really love it.

Sometimes, I get these cravings in my body to do something creative. It’s kind of like feeling horny, but I feel crafty. Anyone else get that? Anyone? …

So anywho, this self-acceptance did not come easily to me for most of my life. Therefore, I hid my talent from everyone and most importantly, myself. Interestingly, the shift in my own mindset came about from other people trusting in me more than I consciously trusted in me. When I lived at the Omega Institute, a woman looked at something I was making and told me that not just anyone can do that. Really? Cause, I honestly didn’t think there was anything special about me and my abilities. She definitely struck something in me …

Then, I started working at lululemon 2 months after Omega and I wrote out some of our chalk nameplates because, simply, “I liked handwriting.” Everyone I worked with saw my nice handwriting as so much more than that though. They asked me to hand-write all the nameplates whenever product was moved around or new product came in. I was happy to oblige. And then … THEN, they asked me to do more and bigger things with chalk. “Huh? Me? I can’t do that.” (I said that more often in my head than out loud.) So, I did them. Slowly, like reeeeeally sloooooowly, at first. They liked it. I did more. I got faster. Because I got more confident. And started to recognize my talent, rather than just accepting that other people liked what I did. Wow, I didn’t realize I had this inside me. Pretty fucking awesome.

Creativity and finding my truth have gone hand and hand for me these past couple of years. I create to find my truth and finding my truth helps me create – to create organically, with no agenda or need. Well, sometimes, I have an art job that needs to get done. However, it still feels more like something I want to do and am happy to do. That’s HUGE!

OK, so why the pics of my furniture, other than the fact that they are my creations? I was thinking one day about the process of furniture designing. I doodle. Those doodles turn into potential furniture pieces. I then expand on the ones that speak to me. And I break them down to figure out how to build them – the hardware, the materials, the joinery, the dimensions, etc. I change the design as needed to make it buildable and structural and usable. This is my life. I doodle. Exploring new things. New adventures. I then expand on those that speak to me. And I break them down to figure out if they are truly an extension of me – am I passionate about this? Does it serve me? What support do I need? Can I build on myself and grow as a person? What do I need to do this? I try things. I change them as needed. I trust in the person I’ve created. As I trust in the furniture I’ve created. Both strong. Both beautiful. Both built of energy and love. Hell yeah!

All of these strong, beautiful, energetic and loving creations are for sale by the way. The furniture, that is. Not me ;)

www.etsy.com/shop/firstlightcreative

 

 

MINDFUL hiking workshops …

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Figured I’d share this on my blog as well cause you never know what other Arizonans follow my blog or will find this post, riiiiight!?!? I’m looking forward to guiding desert dwellers through a healing meditation and small group hike. And looking forward to being a desert dweller myself … again ;)

My website has a brief explanation of each theme and a shop for you to sign up. If you have any individual questions, please reach out as I’d love to hear from you!

See you on the trails! XO

LOOK who has emerged …

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Have y’all been wondering where I went? Yeah, me too.

I love blogging … sharing my truth, inspiring others, writing about what I’m feeling or doing or seeing … it’s a beautiful thing. So, seriously, why the hell haven’t I been doing it? Good question. Well, honestly, I am still finding it hard to schedule my life without someone else telling me where I need to be and at what time, so I let some shit go. I am learning to be more patient with myself and accept that this is a learning process. And, at times, I also feel frozen / stuck, not knowing what to do or how to move forward. I want to continue down the path I started down 2 years – doing what I love, making my own schedule, and BLOGGING! Blogging is a creative outlet for me as well, and as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I have lessened my creative endeavors of all types (although, I will share some creative things soon!). I haven’t been lettering as much, or doodling, or writing, or or or. This seems like a great place to insert a reminder to be patient and accepting with myself. My creativity didn’t just dissolve … a few months not doing it and POOF! GONE! Not so much. I took a break. Not a big deal. Really.

I have also done loads of amazing other things, which I will share in the coming weeks. One being that I turned 40 and had the most amazing celebration. Just had to share that now, cause damn, it was AMAZING.

Catch y’all later. I swear I’ll be back soon …

are you POSITIVE ?

I was driving home from yoga this morning and I saw this sign in the distance that read “Dance Meditation” and I perked up a bit thinking that sounds interesting. Only the sign didn’t say that at all. I drove a little closer to it and saw that it actually read “Divorce Mediation.” I chuckled at the inconsistency of these 2 very opposing things. And then said to myself, well, shit, I have quite the positive mindset :)

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately – about my positivity, that is. I am in a place now where I can appreciate and accept all that comes into my life as being part of my journey, even and especially the challenges. Now, I admit, I am still human and sometimes I feel like my hormones think for me (ya know what I’m sayin’), so my positive mindset isn’t always in control. For the most part though, it reins and it feels fucking fabulous! This is such an amazing place to be and so different then where I once was.

Test it out … find something positive in a seemingly “negative” situation (I promise you, it’s in there). The key to changing is trusting in everything that comes your way. That it is all meant for you to grow and love and live a fulfilling happy life :)

And I am living and loving proof that it works. XO

 

my body SPEAKS …

Discomfort. Pain. Tension. Agitation. Nausea. I have learned to be intune to my body. To listen. And right now, with all of those feelings happening at once, it’s got something pretty important to say. Releasing old wounds can lead to discomfort. As can holding onto them. I’m not quite sure which it is for me right now. Or maybe a combination? What I do know is that it feels soooo incredibly uncomfortable. I’m trying to sit with it and learn from it, as much as I want to push it away and ignore it. Only thing is, my body has made it too intense to ignore. It knows me all too well at this point. And for that I am grateful. Grateful to myself for all of the work I’ve done to get to this deep place within myself. Grateful even for the pain. And I will be so so grateful for the light that’s on the other side of this pain, as I know that’s where I’m headed. I will keep working to be patient and listen and accept all that comes my way. However, I’m not opposed to this discomfort subsiding sooner than later ;)

big BLUE …

Blue. The color associated with the throat chakra. Blue. The color of my eyes. Interestingly, I had kept both of them partially closed up to all those around me – strangers, loved ones, myself – for most of my past life.

Throat chakra … communication, speaking your truth, expression. Today, I took a beautiful meditation class at M N D F L in Greenwich Village. In the middle of the meditation, I got an intense tickle in my throat and REALLY needed to cough. However, I did not feel inclined to break the stillness in the room with a cough attack. So, I held it back. And my eyes started to tear. And I was quickly reminded of being a child afraid to cough for fear of attracting attention to my “noise.” How sad, right? And coughing was no different than my words. I was afraid of being heard. Afraid of being me. And so I held it back, kept it all inside. No wonder holding in a cough results in tears. Coughing is a vocal release. It is part of my voice (not my “noise”). And I have definitely learned that holding in my words will also result in tears. It may have taken some years, but those guys flow easier these days. It’s my time to release. Time to be free of those old stories. Time to express who I am and fuck being afraid of it. I’m the only one afraid of me. Let’s be honest, everyone else thinks I’m pretty rad.

My eyes. Those big blue beauties – if I let them be, anyway. I’ve also held them back. Kept them tucked away under squinty half-opened eyelids. If people can’t see ALL of my eyes, then they can’t see me and what I’m REALLY about. Who’s that hurting? Yup, you guessed it – me again! I’ve actually noticed that my eyes are tired of being half-open … I don’t know what muscles are in my face that control my eyelids, but they’re tiiiiired of squinting for 30+ years. Now, I’m working on that face muscle memory ;) and awareness of the tightness that just doesn’t feel good anymore. The beautiful thing is that when I open my eyes wide, I can see the world. Like a whole bunch more of it. And I feel like I’m a bigger part of it. And I feel more open to welcoming in others.

Open your throat (or voice for a less gruesome visual). Let yourself be heard.
Open your eyes. Let yourself be seen.
And your heart will automatically open as well …