the CENTER of our world …

As my dear friend Nicole once said on one very memorable drunken ladies night, “it’s all about the heart.”

I dreamt about this image last night: my hand swirled around and around in circles, over and over again in my dream. Around a tiny heart. Sometimes the heart was red and sometimes black. The image stuck with me until I rose this morning and I knew that I had to draw it … or paint it, as I did here. I had a manageable list of things to get done today … none of which I could accomplish until I put this image on paper. Over a year ago, I bought myself 2 bamboo brushes and sumi ink in order to paint some things just like this. I had never used those brushes until today. My subconscious told me it was time.

To me, this image screams: heart center. You’re like duh, Dawn, of course it does. Shush and keep reading. Everything about our existence as humans starts (and ends, I suppose) at our heart center. So many of us have forgotten that. Forgotten what that feels like. Forgotten how to do that. Forgotten how damn important this is to every single aspect of our being. And I’m one of them. I needed my subconscious dream state to remind me of this. And my conscious awareness reminds me often as well … as long as I remember ;) Seriously, this shit is not easy. I have spent many years closing up and “protecting” (this idea many of us have created for ourselves is BS though, as the more we protect it, the more pain we experience) my heart to the point where I couldn’t even feel it’s beat anymore. Talk about building a wall.

So, now what? I want to open my heart. I want to love the shit out of myself. We all have our own ways of doing this (and a whole lot of ways to ignore doing this). Some of my ways  of opening are yoga and meditation and creating relationships with like-minded people and becoming a Health Coach and breathing into my heart space and trying to maintain good posture to shine my heart forward into the world (aside from right now as I type slumped over on my bed) and sharing my true self to the people around me (like writing this post, in case you hadn’t picked up on that).  My life experiences have made loving me harder and harder to do. However, those are all stories created by me … and edited by me … and re-written by me … many pages of fiction about what other people thought I should be, or what society deemed appropriate at any given time, or what my SAT scores meant for my future success, or that I had to look a certain way to get dates with guys or even to find friends. None of these things really have anything to do with me – with the heart and soul that lives inside this amazing body of mine (and by amazing, I mean fascinating, not sexy, but let’s be honest people, my body is pretty sexy too). I went along with it all because I knew no better. And thank goodness I did, cause it got me here. I am an amazing person capable of loving and feeling and being every bit the soul I was brought into this world to be. I’d say it’s about time I let that shit shine!!!

This is what Health Coaching is for me. It is my place to shine, to support people in their journey to this magical place within themselves. Cause we all have it. It may just need a little, or a lot, of massaging to release it. Remind yourself of how amazing you are and of the gifts you are here to offer the world. And then remind yourself again and again. Your heart will catch on. I promise. 

And, I heart you. <3

ALOE everybody !!!

People say that caring for cactus is easy. I totally disagree. Ooooor maybe I just make it harder than it really is ;) I lived in Arizona for 13 years and owned some cacti, obviously. And I killed a good number of them too. Sorry guys. So cactus ain’t my thang. I moved back to New York and took on some green house plants. Those were more my speed. Water them once a week, say hi to them, pick out the dead leaves every so often (which my cat, Luna, was really good at!). But sadly, when I moved out of my Jersey City apartment, my plants did not move with me.

Just recently, I saw a cute little aloe plant in the grocery store and thought, I did so well with those house plants, maybe I have a greener thumb now. So the aloe came home with me. I got this. Um, no I don’t. Within a month, it was brown, weak and droopy. I decided I’d use its magical aloe powers on my skin, so that the plant didn’t go to waste. For about a week, I was breaking off pieces of the “leaves” for my skin’s pleasure, when I came home 2 nights ago and aloe was green again. It’s leaves were stronger and more upright and it was GREEN!!! I mean, it now looks quite the opposite of cute, but I was still super excited to have aloe back alive and kicking! I determined that the plant healed itself through healing me … told you it had magical powers. (And it also may have helped that I hadn’t watered it in a while as I thought it was dead.)

Now I can go back to saying “Aloe!” to it every morning. Get it? Gosh, I’m funny.

a MAGICal gift …

So this glorious gift arrived in my mailbox yesterday. My mom told me I had received a package and then I remembered that Sky had asked for my address recently, so I guessed it would be from her. And it was. I excitedly opened the package to find these inside. If you’ve been following my blog, you may remember I have mentioned this book a couple of times. It has been on my [lengthy] book list, and had landed itself at the top of the list since I’ve become reunited with my creativity and all. Reunited and it feels so good.

Man, I sure do love having friends that I sync with even with 100s or 1000s of miles between us.

The adorably awesome Buddha painting is a Sky Schulz original, which I am so happy to have (even more so than the book!) ;) And, by the way, Sky told me that the book is signed by Elizabeth Gilbert!!! Say whaaa?!?

Thank You Thank You Sky … I could feel so much energy when I laid my hand on this book (you and Liz got some good vibes). Such a MAGICal feeling.