my first CUPPING …

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I’m guessing some dirty minds are chuckling right now. However, I’m referring to the Eastern medicine technique of cupping. I have been going to acupuncture for a few weeks now and today, she asked me if she could do cupping on my back following my acupuncture treatment. I have never had this done before, so SURE! I had absolutely no idea what I had just agreed to other than my minimal knowledge of what cupping is.

She removes the needles from my back, then walks out of the room and returns with a cute little basket of cute little round jars. Oooo, I love jars! I asked her what it was going to feel like, and she didn’t respond. She just got right to it. Lighting up those jars and suctioning them to my back flesh … holy shit, WHAT. IS. HAPPENING. ?. Suddenly there was nothing cute about those jars and that fucking basket. And at that moment, I realized why she hadn’t responded to my question … because you can’t describe what it feels like to have your entire back sucked off of your skeleton. The tightness. The pulling. WTF?

And then she left me in the room with jars stuck to my back. I was like what the hell is going to happen to me in here. All by myself. With jars stuck to my back. Thankfully, it was only around 5 minutes. And in that 5 minutes, I thought how can she possibly remove these super-powered suction-cups from my skin?!? And I also thought, I’m definitely going to have those round marks like the Olympic swimmers have. Yeah, I’m cool like that. Don’t let me fool you, I did not feel cool in that moment.

Removing them wasn’t a big deal and they made silly popping sounds. And then the magic happened. My back never (at least what I can remember) felt so light and relaxed and open then in that moment. And it took only 5 minutes of cupping. This is the truth behind the power of traditional medicine practices. I realized how much weight I carry in my back, because I now know how light and airy it CAN feel. Now that shit is magic. And it is real. All at the same time.

I am pretty open to all types of holistic healing, which is why I was gung ho to try cupping. And honestly, I would do it again. In the moment, it was really intense. Like INTENSE intense. And because of that, I had a tough time laying there with it even for a short 5 minutes. But, experiencing that feeling of lightness in my back was mind-blowing. Like, WOW, I hold soooooo much in there, and now I am fully aware of it because the weight has been lifted, or at least sucked into some jars. I now truly understand what it feels like to be weighed down and to be lightened up. How cool is that?!? OK, now, I feel cool.

We all need to experience opposition to understand our feelings. We can’t understand happiness without feeling sadness; lightness without darkness; love without hate. So, although I had a tough time with those not-so-cute-anymore jars, they helped me to remember this fact of life. And brought me here to write about it and remind all of you.

In those moments of pain or sadness or other seemingly negative feelings, remember that you need them all to be able to relate to and fully embrace the amazingly positive yummy feelings. This helps to change our perspective in life. To trust that everything, and I mean everything, that happens in your life is meant for you.

Happy Cupping!

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break OPEN …

“Your heart can grow strong at the broken places.” -Jack Kornfield

Most of us (me included) are so afraid of having our hearts broken. But, unbeknownst to most of us, a broken heart literally and figuratively becomes an open heart. A world of open hearts equals a world full of love and acceptance of everyone and everything. And lord knows we need a shitload of that right now … and forever and ever going forward.

I have just come to understand this concept within the past 8 months or so. I used to dwell on how much it hurt to have my heart broken by my first love. It hurt so fucking bad. At the time. And for years after. Then within these past 8 months, it started to make sense to me. I had to experience that broken heart in order to let more incredible people into my life and in order to love myself truly and completely. I whole-heartedly believe that without each break, whether a tiny seemingly meaningless chip or a giant fucking fracture, I would not be in the positively expansive spiritual place I am in today. I will continue to have my heart broken and to break my own heart, as we are by far the best at hurting ourselves – yay us! – but I will try my darnedest to see those breaks as grateful openings on my new path through this thang called life … aaaaaaand, BREAK!

emotional CONNECTION to illness is for REAL …

 I’ve had a cold for the past few days so the only thing I’ve created is a giant pile of dirty tissues. My sickness came about as I was creating a negative environment within my body, full of old feelings of anger, hurt and frustration toward a person close to me, which then changes to anger, hurt and frustration toward myself for allowing this negativity to “control” me for so long. This is not the first time I have made myself sick in this way, so I’m quite aware of what I created here. I just hadn’t realized it soon enough before fucking with my immune system. So, here I am, NOW … and I need to either accept and move past the past or I need to talk to this person about working toward a healthier relationship. I’m going with option 2 which is super difficult, but I’m ready. It can only make me stronger, our relationship stronger and make this easier for me to do in future loving relationships. I want to be more open and vulnerable and stop being so guarded. I know this guardedness is holding me back from being my true self and the creative genius I really know I’m capable of being. If you read my post yesterday, you read about the connection I made between an open heart and creativity. I want that. Always. And forever. And ever.