emotional CONNECTION to illness is for REAL …

 I’ve had a cold for the past few days so the only thing I’ve created is a giant pile of dirty tissues. My sickness came about as I was creating a negative environment within my body, full of old feelings of anger, hurt and frustration toward a person close to me, which then changes to anger, hurt and frustration toward myself for allowing this negativity to “control” me for so long. This is not the first time I have made myself sick in this way, so I’m quite aware of what I created here. I just hadn’t realized it soon enough before fucking with my immune system. So, here I am, NOW … and I need to either accept and move past the past or I need to talk to this person about working toward a healthier relationship. I’m going with option 2 which is super difficult, but I’m ready. It can only make me stronger, our relationship stronger and make this easier for me to do in future loving relationships. I want to be more open and vulnerable and stop being so guarded. I know this guardedness is holding me back from being my true self and the creative genius I really know I’m capable of being. If you read my post yesterday, you read about the connection I made between an open heart and creativity. I want that. Always. And forever. And ever.

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